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DIFFERENCE, LIMITATION AND CREATIVITY: accepting our state of incomplete assimilation into a given pattern
Rogerio Migliorini

In the first year of my training, I studied with Mrs. Maria Duchenes. Mrs Duchenes introduced Laban’s methodologies in Brazil. His methodologies value the inner aspects that motivate movement and accept diversity once they can be applied to pupils with different training, age, and physicalities.
Laban’s wide approach to movement is only possible because he studies human movement as whole, and not only specific patterns of movement proper to this or that dance style. Therefore, people trained in Laban usually observe movement in general, be them mechanic, human or animal in their nature. One of the applications of Laban’s method of movement analysis, for instance, is in the analysis of animals non-verbal communication, such as that of dolphins, wolves, and bears.
Thus, my approximation to and identification with Laban’s methodologies, suggests that in my professional life I have searched for diversity and difference, i.e. not necessarily for those things that fit the models defined by the majority.
Following my studies with Mrs Duchenes. I moved to Campinas in order to study dance at University (UNICAMP). Although the school there was relatively closed to different ways of thinking and expressing dance, the time I spent over there was most rewarding both, personally and professionally speaking. Nevertheless, one year after my graduation, I had to go through a neurological surgery and the after-effect of it was a hemiparesia, which means I had half of my body partially paralysed.
Naturally, I was so shocked by that that I came to believe that dance was definitely out of my life. A “dark” period began, and it was much longer and much more painful than I could have consciously realised. Nevertheless, many great reflections came out of it.
At first, there was a period when I did not even want to see videos of dance. Let alone meet any of my colleagues who were dancing, or who could be seen performing or doing any sort of work within the dance field. It was even worse to meet people who had had other kinds of training but who worked within the dance field, or who danced out of sheer pleasure. It seemed that all these possibilities had been denied to me. During this time, I withdrew from the dance and art fields, trying to avoid my colleagues as I often had feelings of shame, failure, and inferiority when I saw them. I also felt a silent revolt, and undoubtedly together with the other feelings that I had, it showed a feeling of self-pit.
This mourning phase ended when I realised that the surgery and its after-effect had not stopped me from dancing. I noted that I had had negative thoughts about myself, and about most other things throughout my life. Most of them were supported by beliefs that I was already examining but that I came to examine more thoroughly after the surgery, and which were showing to be false. They had made me stop performing, not the surgery itself.
Undoubtedly, the most important thing that happened during this period was that I realised this mechanism. Because of I was preventing myself from fully experiencing all the feelings of satisfaction, and all the happiness and fulfillment still possible to me, I was making the losses I had gone through much more painful than they actually were. Therefore, I was protracting and increasing my suffering, and sentencing myself to an unhappiness much worse than what had actually been determined by the damage of some physical skills. In short, I was holding tight to an old psychological mechanism.
Little by little, instead of carrying on running away from dance, I started to look at my differences and at the limits of my movement with different eyes. I started to value what I intended to convey with the dance rather than how fit I was, or my physical skills. Then, I gradually started to get close to dance again in a possible and comfortable way to me. I first started to attend a study group about dance and started to share the company of dancers and dance scholars again; afterwards I attended a course on a somatic practice that took place in a dance studio which was a gathering place for people with physical abilities and bodies that I no longer had. After that, I went back to giving dance classes, and finally, I took heart to go back to performing again within a dance language and a method that had always been very important for me, but that I had come to neglect and forget.
At this point, I have to stop and say that some of my ex-teachers and mainly, some of my ex-class-mates, actually all my friends, were fundamental to this process by encouraging me, and by being nice, friendly, and respectful to me. They never ever saw any reason for me not to keep on dancing, just as they never ever saw or treated me as somebody who was not a dance thinker, an artist, and a dancer. In other words, most of the beliefs and prejudices I had about disabled dancers actively performing on stage, were mine not theirs.
Nevertheless, this process is not finished yet, although it has already lasted for almost 15 years. It represents the retaking of a central axis. Each minor step in this way is very important, and fundamental to me. It is a path that embraces happiness in itself. By walking along it, I wave away the vultures of negative feelings I have circling about me; by exploring it, little by little I find, and start to recognise myself again.
Now, during the period described above, it was common to hear encouragements like the need to overcome limits, or the need to deal with the new limits of my body. These plus my gait and my way of moving visibly different, besides the presence in my body of an imagined inability and ugliness, made me think a lot about difference, limit, illness, and ability.
Then, a line from one of the poems by Carlos Drumont de Andrade (a great Brazilian poet) called my attention. It says: “When I was born, a crooked angel like one of these that live in the darkness said: ‘Go, Carlos! and be gauche!’”. This little line that a great poet quoted a wise angel as saying, tells of difference and of its need to creation. Besides the reference to an angel that does not fit the usual characteristics of heavenly beings, the poet employs a French word that means left, but also twisted, graceless; ill-done, clumsy, rude; impolite, awkward, ungainly; useless; complicated; embarrassing, unpleasant, improper, graceless, inapt, unskillful and left-winger. By extension, it means everything that is not right, straight, correct, fair, honest; adequate, convenient; healthy; normal; exact; real, rightful; or everything that does not agree with something else, is not in a straight line, or is not true, proper; or consistent with the rules. When I read this line I cannot help but smile, for to be gauche is not but the poets’, artists’, creators’, and freethinkers’ fate.
And do those people just mentioned think all of us are different?
I do not know about them. But I particularly think so, and the reason I give for that is that before I got disabled I used to think everybody was just equal to everybody else (or, at least, to the majority of them). My disability threw right on my face the differences that I already had but that I could not see. The same way, other people who are not visibly different from anyone else have invisible differences also, and by ignoring and comfortably projecting them on to the other, stigmatise them.
Therefore, in my opinion different physiques, tastes, traits of personality, life history, etc., are inevitable Even if we have some similarities, our individual differences will always prevail. For instance; even twin brothers that were brought up within the same culture and family, that went to the same school and social clubs, and that share the same friends, will have different experiences.
By quoting this thought by Samuel Butler:
You will have a black sheep or two, and probably a long tailed one or two, and a sheep with only one eye, and another with a wart on its nose, and so forth. These ones will be your marked sheep, and if you find all of them you may be satisfied that the rest are safe also.
I cannot help but think that some differences are apparent, and some others are invisible, but all of us have a wart on our nose, or a longer “tail”. All in all, we all have some imperfection, or slightly deviate from an ideal form. All of us spot something we do not like, something we want to make a clean sweep of, something we do not trust to the world, and often, not even to ourselves.
Along history, men has always pursued eugenics; i.e.: the norm, the common, the sameness, the perfection; and has always tried to eliminate that which does not fit in with the norm. Nevertheless, total equality, a complete fitting in with the norm, or with what is common, does not exist in nature or in the real world.
Barbies and super-heroes are inhabitants of this ideal world. In it, ballerinas do not ever grow old, kings and queens never go to the toilet, doctors do not ever get ill, dentists do not have toothache, and teachers do not ever fart. But without such a thing as difference, fingerprints; human, animal, mineral and vegetable variety; the evolution of species, the several urban and natural landscapes; the cultural, linguistic, architectural, and artistic diversity that enrich life and make it much more interesting would be impossible. Total equality would make the world extremely stable, and immutable. Life would not offer us any surprise, nor challenges. Boredom would reign. Ultimately, there would be no movement.
But difference has always been, and no matter the trials to eliminate it, there are reasons for it to be kept on existing.
One of the roles of those who ostensibly spot it has been to wash the stains, or to purify the other from any deviations by taking them upon themselves. Then, they must go to the desert in order to die there, instead of the person they “disinfected”. (1) Therefore, only with the total elimination of self-difference projected on to somebody, the other can perpetuate the illusion that he himself is not devious. Some people, then, function as escape-goats, and must die in the desert, be stoned to death, burned alive in flames or kilns, subjugated, enslaved, made an outcast, an so forth. And escape-goats invariably are the ones who spot any difference, or are they not?
Then, a big physical difference may entitle anybody to be a escape-goat, but the same may happen because of any other difference. Even if they are insignificant, they can assume great proportions and entitle the person to become an escape-goat anyway. All in all, what we want is to mark, or to point somebody out, and tell his or her differences, but not our own.
So, we are comprehensibly terrified of being spotted as different. Nevertheless, we cannot always prevent it from happening. There are differences that cannot be hidden nor concealed, and at moments, we get face to face with the human reality, with our fragility and finiteness.
We may take these inevitable moments of exposure as real calamities able to finish with our lives. But, is that really so?
As we said above, a more positive function of difference is to put things into motion, to propose the new, to initiate disturbance, to question and destroy what is already established, and finally to allow creation and modification. An everyday example of difference related to movement is the water that streams down rivers and falls in cascades because of the different levels of the soil it encounters in its way. For the same reason it can be used to generate electricity, and exist as running water in our houses.

(1) The origins of the word escape-goat was told to me by Mariângela Guelta, a visual artist, art-therapist and philosopher.


Kali, the Hindi goddess of death and destruction, is another example, although rather uncommon, of the same thing. Note that all Hindi deities are simultaneously good and evil. I dare to think that she may embody difference, once that positively speaking, death destroys the old and creates the new.
I understand that Shiva also, is the incarnation of movement for he is the god of dance, and though the movement of all the other things and his own, he enables creation.
But what about limit?
I do not regard limit as something that can be overcome. I believe that a real limit is given. For instance: if we can run more and more, or stay underwater for a longer time, or dance despite any disability. in all these cases we are not breaking a real limit. The best diver does not stay longer underwater than a globefish, just as the best runner cannot beat a cheetah The best parachutist needs a parachute otherwise he will fall freely from the aircraft, and he will not recover his shape afterwards as it happens in the cartons. In all these cases a false limit is broken. What is discussed here is rather our belief that we have capabilities much smaller than they actually are. Our belief is altered, not our limits.
In the visual arts, especially in drawing, we can see that the limits of a given shape are given by its contour. Without contour or limit though indefinite, there can be no shape. For instance, a blot can only exist because of the limits that highlight it from its background. Without this demarcation, we would not be able to see any blot. In nature everything has a limit also. We are not able to imagine the world without limits. Without it there would be no sky, clouds, raindrops, puddles, creeks, rivers or seas. Not even thoughts and ideas. Limit is form, and even our thoughts and ideas are forms.
Still in the visual arts, let us look at the pictures Picasso painted when he was young. Then, he would draw a bull thoroughly. In his maturity, though, he would synthesise the shape of a bull with very few strokes and lines. Similarly, if we take a close look at one of the paintings by Rembrandt in his mature years, we will see just blots of stained paint. Nevertheless, if we see them from some distance, these blots will reveal blazes, transparencies, jewels, and draperies as rich as the ones he used to detail in his youth.
Thus, the great artists draw limits to themselves. They know that the human person only acquires weightiness as a free spirit by doing so. Limit has to do with ingenuity, ability, real mastery of a technique, maturity, and with true freedom.
Now, if we focus on the matter rather than on men themselves, we will see that the materials with which they work present us with immutable characteristics such as their chemical and physical properties. if, for example, we take wood, stone, metal, plaster of Paris, glass, clay, etc., we will see that not all of them can be sculpted, carved, modeled, or cast. Their plasticity varies. Each of them must be worked in a different way, and what results from each is something just as different. The dancers physicalities, the time and space necessary for our physical actions and motion, the laws of Physics, the exertion of the force of gravity upon our body, the number of words that can be written in a given text, are all examples of limits.
In order to deal with limits we need to tackle them face-to-face. They simply can never be ignored. Reality imposes limits, but unlike we usually think, they are not coercive nor prevent us from fancying or expressing ourselves. On the contrary, limits consolidate creation. Like the margins of a river, or the coast and the continents, the limits allow us to explore the deep water safely because we will always be able to return to the safe ground whenever it is necessary. In creation, we simultaneously deal with the immutable reality together with fancies, for reality without fancy becomes bear and crushing whereas fancy without reality is no better than madness and insanity.
Therefore, adequacy stands for creativity rather than originality. It is not creative to do whatever one wants whenever one wants; rather it is creative to do exactly the necessary without waste or greed. In other word, to be creative is to be elegant.
All in all, differences stands for limits, limits stands for form and limits are fundamental for creation. Even if apparently they have nothing or little to do with each other, appearances are deceiving, and they relate to each other as the different facets of men.
I should finish here, but this cannot be so without my touching in another important subject summarised in the question: Do limit and illness have a creative potential?
Oliver Sacks, an English neurologist who lives in the USA, answers this question with a sound yes. He believes that illness has to do with the way we see it rather than with the need to bring the person back to the state previous to it. In his book “An Anthropologist on Mars” Sacks relates the case of a painter that after a car crash became unable to see other colours than black or white. After a period of shock and total psychological unbalance, when he would do nothing else but to brood over his loss, he started to paint beautiful black and white canvases with shades of these colours that just he could see and obtain. His work was unique and the hardest people tried to copy it, the less they would succeed in getting the same results. After being so well adapted to his new reality, cured as I see it, when he was confronted with this possibility, he refused to go back to what he was before his “disability”.
Goya is another example of a similar case. He is known as the best European painter of his time, once the originality and emotion that flow from his paints, and the freedom of his style, highlight his work at the end of the eighteenth, and beginning of the nineteenth centuries.
Despite his huge production, only after he was forty he created really original works. Something very important to this change occurred in 1792. Goya was, then, taken by a severe illness. Consequently, he was temporarily paralysed, partially blind and permanently deaf.
In opposition to the neoclassical works of art in vigour at that time, and that aimed to deny the subjection to the cheap matter by praising highly the purity of form and the ideal order, Goya, perhaps because of his confront with the fugacity and imperfection of the flesh, chose to face matter concrete reality instead of denying it. Through his art, he fought darkness, and the tyranny and imposture the French Revolution then became.
According to Goya’s visual messages, the Revolution was a light that turned into darkness, since the domination of most of Europe by Napoleon, and the consequent wars. By accepting the fatality of matter and by answering to an apparent restriction caused by suffering, Goya says that we overcome the cosmic powers or the violent strikes of history, because of our spiritual dimension. In reference to his paint Madrid shootings of the 3rd of May of 1808, as well as to his works about the horrors of war, Jean Starobinsky, in the book 1789, the label of reason says: “Tempest and storm, as well as the bullets and the chopping knife, proclaim the annihilation of our sensible existence, but they also wake up in us the certainty of our escaping the limits with which it has bounded us.”
Thus, I think the creative human being must not deal only with beauty. He must deal with human life as a whole, in its beautiful and hideous aspects. Goya witnessed beauty and brightness turning into darkness exactly because of the denial of this totality. He saw that matter and the things created from it weigh, last for a period, and wear out. He found out that death and suffering are facts of life. He recognised that solitude is everyones burden, independently of how civilised he or she is. He ultimately showed us that the independence of ideas and their power lies in our ability to accept and learn how to deal with solitude.
We must urgently review our values built in the habit of our whole history, the same ones through which we oppress and annihilate the other different from us. Through those values we fell free to project our “dark”, “negative”, “violent”, “stupid”, “fragile”, “evil”, “ignorant”, “primitive”, side on to others. It is time we stop throwing stones at other peoples glasshouses and take upon ourselves exactly what we mostly want to hide. It is time we begin to think, backed up by several examples, that the reverse face of darkness is light. By accepting our utmost frailty, our ugliness, we can find out our strongest power, our immense beauty.

REFERENCES
BUTLER, Samuel. A first year in Canterbury settlement. In SEAR, James. New Zealand dramatic landscape. Wellington, New Zealand, Milwood Press, 1979.
DRUMONT DE ANDRADE, Carlos. Poema de sete faces In DRUMONT DE ANDRADE, Carlos. Poesia e Prosa (org. by author). Rio de Janeiro, Nova Aguiar, 1998
MIGLIORINI, Rogério. Diferença, limite e criatividade. On-line Magazine Aplauso. http://superig.ig.com.br/aplauso/links.asp, São Paulo, 2004
MIGLIORINI, Rogério. Assumindo a Marginalidade. Unpublished, Unicamp, 2001
MIGLIORINI, Rogério. Pensar com o movimento e dançar com palavras. In FERRETTI, Vera Maria Rossetti (org.). Dançando através do Pós-Modernismo. Magazine of Instituto Sedes Sapientiae Art- Therapy Dept - Special Edition, focusing the 3rd National Congress of Art-therapy. São Paulo, Ano V, número 4, 2000/2001
OSTROWER, Fayga. Criatividade e processos de criação. 8th Ed. Petrópolis, Vozes, 1991.
OSTROWER, Fayga. Universos da Arte. 4th Ed. Rio de Janeiro, Campus, 1987.
SACKS, Oliver. Um Antropólogo em Marte: sete histórias paradoxais. 6th Ed.. São Paulo, Companhia das Letras, 2001.
WINNICOTT, D.W. Textos Selecionados: da Pediatria à Psicanálise. Rio de Janeiro, Fco Alvez, 1988

ABOUT ROGER
Roger started his educational dance teaching and career as a creative dancer in 1983. He first trained with Mrs Maria Duscheness, who studied with Laban himself, and introduced his movement theories in Brazil; later on Roger got his dance bachelor and teaching degrees from the second most important university of Brazil and besides that, he also holds a diploma in Art-Therapy. Roger was also a Rotary exchange student in Auckland, New Zealand in 1980.
After a brain surgery in 1992, Roger became one of the few disabled persons worldwide that have complete dance training and works in the area in various ways, performing included.

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